Christmas Present Buying...by a Festive Maniac

I am so not the right person to be giving out present buying advice. Not, I must clarify, because the recipients of my gifts are usually disappointed; quite the contrary. The point is that even with a huge debt over my head, bills to pay and a shaky-to-the-point-of-Alzheimer's financial future ahead of me, I lose all budgetary logic when it comes to Christmas.

As with most things in my life, I can assuredly blame/credit my childhood for this purse-withering affliction; just the other day when my mother attempted a sense of austerity into my present purchasing, my father shook his head solemnly behind her and said "well, when people start trying to make you calm down over Christmas you might as well just kill yourself." Like I have said before, he takes Yuletide preeeeety seriously.

So, with this in mind I started present shopping early to avoid any of those deadline-induced moments of rash over-generosity. I planned ahead and read every high street gift catalogue (I never buy anything from them, I just like to get in the mood). Let's face it, women's magazine gift guides are just as flipping USELESS. What is the point of filling the pages with delectable, shimmering, cashmere delights that would set any girl's heart on fire? We know what WE want, its what to buy everyone else that is the problem.

Yeah, helpful. Not.

I have a theory about present buying for the males in your life (which, according to those high street gift guides, only like bart simpson underpants, a whisky-and-shot-glass set, or a steel kitchen gadget. When, can I ask, have you EVER seen a man with a kitchen gadget?!)
Boys like things you can eat, use up, or do. My own boy was very keen that I get this message out into the universe, I think he has graciously accepted many a whisky-and-shot-glass set in his time and will have a nervous breakdown if anyone buys him another bag of Jack Daniels fudge (we did, as a last resort to trying to eat that in the summer, when we were poor and needed a sweet treat. 'Last Resort' being the operative phrase there.)

Love fudge, love Jack Daniels, do NOT love them together.

Anyway, I love giving presents. Hate the actual shopping, dithering about in Waterstones trying to justify their ridiculous prices over the agony of waiting for Amazon parcels. But I love looking at my stash of presents, especially when they have been wrapped and are all sparkly with anticipation (the enjoyment I get from wrapping wanes after I have done my Dad's and boyfriend's too. Whyyyy are they incapable of folding a bit of paper neatly?? Is it a chromosome thing?)

So I thought this year, with my frugal intentions, I would be able to get all my shopping done early and without starting my own personal recession. Alas, the fact that I have already bought everyone something means that I know have a few more weeks of 'oh just one more little thing for them'. I'll never learn...!

Evidenciary proof: Just as I was finishing this post, my Dad sent me through this pic of our family house with a snow report, and to check I had my Christmas jumper on. To clarify: I am 24 years old and this is still normal.

GL

Guest Post: Acne, Candy and The Transvestites

If you are hanging from the weekend and don't want to read about a surreal nuts party involving drag queens, Sixties icons and a capsule collection named after Dynasty characters, I advise you don't click here.

On a similarly extravagant theme, everyone loves nail varnish with real gold and diamond powder in, don't they? That's just standard manicures for all of us (she says, looking at some red polished-nails that are decidedly more nail than polish.)

That'll do for now. It's only Monday morning - I've got to recover from a Christmas shopping marathon, an ear-splitting Sleigh Bells gig on Saturday night, and late night Frost/Nixon movietime so there will be more to follow, y'know, when my brain starts to function normally again.

GL

Topshop: Perversion or Perfection?

The trend for the high necked, sixties style dresses goes a worrying step too far; or is it just want girls want?

Let me explain: many moons ago, when I was perusing the Topshop A/W 10 ad campaign, my subconscious decided that this was what I was going to look like come Christmas:

Don't blame my subconscious, it's not his/her/it's fault. In fact, a penchant for a flippy skirted lacey, velvet dress (ideally worn with tights that had a little bow on the ankle) had been ingrained in me from a very young age. Specifically, the age that my Mum bought me my favourite party outfit of all time; a black velvet skirt suit with sparkling gold polkadots. I was probably about six, give me a break. At the time it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

I say at the time; as I have an unrivalled tendency to uninhibited honesty on this blog, I will admit that I have looked at the Monsoon children's range of party dresses and wished that they did them in big girl sizes, on more than one occasion. Is that so wrong?

Clearly, Topshop don't think so. On my daily (yes, it's bad) visit to their website yesterday, my eyes nearly popped out of my skull when I saw the latest addition to their Sixties style range.

The dress in question (£95, sold out in two days, so it can't just be me)

Yes, its a velvet, peter-pan collared sticky-out party dress, complete with elastic ruching across the bazoomas. Shrink this little baby, stick a label in it saying 'C&A, age 5-6' and it could have been in my wardrobe circa 1991!

So I don't really know what to think now. At first, my heart leapt with joy and I thought 'Yes, finally, SOMEBODY has made the party frock I have been living for.' Then, deeply buried, my subconscious boomed 'Really? You want to squeeze your size 12 figure and ample fun bags into a dress designed for a 5-year old? YOU'RE SICK.'

I have never questioned whether my fashion sense belies a subconscious unresolved childhood issue, but that was until Topshop turned my world upside down. I was only looking at the 'New In' section! I'll never shop online again!

Yours, traumatised,

GL

PS Just found these too! Perhaps they think you should wear them together?! Worryingly, I like them too. KERB shoes, £55

Writing Round Up Part IIII

I know, I know, I need to get more imaginative with these headlines.

Obviously, the world of journalism has literally been consumed by the Royal Engagement news, so don't worry, I will not be adding to the influx of bridal related articles. I have, however, done a couple of little ditties for Motilo this week.

Just don't call her Gaga.

We all enjoy a goth lady who can sing and who looks really cool, don't we? Hi there, Zola Jesus.

Also, the most lovely of all men, Tom Ford, has fiiiiiiinally released pictures of his debut own label collection. Very pleasing on the eye they are too*

*I must stop talking like Yoda with backwards sentences. I always get mocked by the Boy for my 'Go right I would' traffic directions. Apologies for that.

Lastly, I flipping LOVE Carey Mulligan. She is just the bees knees. I also worship and adore director Baz Luhrmann like the crazy uncle I never had, so you can imagine my unbridled joy when I discovered he is remaking The Great Gatsby with Carey and possibly Leo Dicaprio, well hello there, in the lead roles. Get in.

Enjoy x

GL

Taking Risks and Not Being A Dickhead

It's taken a few days to compose my thoughts on this one. But now inspiration is nigh and I'm about to do some serious word-vomit on the page (sorry, I'm feeling a bit gangsta, just wrote my pal in Germany a rap after making a sugar-rush inspired promise. It's amazing what you'll agree to after too many Lovehearts.)

Mmmmmmm sherbet-y, acid-y goodness. Doesn't get much better than sweets with words on.

The fact that she is in Germany ties in with the general theme of this post anyway. She is one brave lady, upping sticks to live and study in Deutschland for a whole year, on her tod. The woman couldn't even speak a word of German until a crash course this summer! But now she is out there, becoming the incredible architect I knew she would be, and properly trying something new.

At the moment, our generation of 20-somethings are surrounded on all sides by warnings to play it safe and to grab hold of any security that comes our way. Financial stability is obviously pretty darn important; I myself have said enough times that I never want to be a scrounger. Unfortunately, the flip side to this stability malarky is a massive collection of suppressed creative people. There is a bunch of us who are attempting to somehow both support ourselves in some level of respectability and write music/words/make art/contribute to culture in some way. And it's getting seriously tricky.

Which brings me in some convoluted manner to my point. It is crucial that we don't let the recession crush the creativity out of us, and waste years of our lives being frightened. Personally, I'm sick of being scared - right now, I'm planning for my future, and I want to get excited about that.

(talking of futures, for anyone wondering about a slight romantical dilemma I wrote about recently, fear not. It looks like forever isn't too far removed a concept, after all. For those of you not bothered, well, Scrooge off.)

It was a wedding. We don't normally look this suave.

So. My newly clarified personal (i.e. this is my own plan. I'm not a preacher, y'all - take from it what you will, or completely ignore it. Whatevs) manifesto is as follows:

Take risks.
Don't be PC.
Don't say no, but also don't say yes, to everything.
Get your own priorities.
Don't ever be a f**cking East London dickhead.

JUST SAY NO

Yeah, that's right. I live in the East but I don't do drugs, I don't wear glasses without lenses and I don't think lying about your latest 'art project' while getting your parents to pay your rent is cool. Also, if I see one more person wearing a maxi skirt, DMs, aviator jacket and the ubiquitous top-knot hairstyle I'm going to punch them. It's sheep-like behaviour. That is probably going to get me ostracised from fashion now. Sorrrrrry.

It's difficult, but I'm still working out where I fit in the grand scheme of work, life and love. The student protests last week got me thinking about what is real and important. To be brutally honest, fashion can sometimes feel very fake. It can also be extremely inspiring, but you have to sort through a lot of rubbish first. Stating the blindingly obvious there, I know. But sometimes when you are in the middle of something it's hard to see what's really going on.

GL

Students Fighting For Their Rights...and The Guardian Letting Lily Allen Down

What a week for controversy and issues. Student rights are always been high on my agenda, as is the journalistic right to free speech. Both of these have come to the fore of the news this week, in the form of the student protests against fee rises, and the Guardian's shocking error of judgement in publishing a Lily Allen interview just days after her tragic miscarriage.

If we leave the smashed up Millbank Tower to one side for the moment and rewind to Monday, I was happily minding my own beeswax watching Giles and Sue on telly (LOVE them, LOVE the show, not sure about making cheese using tights.) Being a massive geek, I was following @Gilescoren's tweets during the show, and noticed he had been harrumphing about the Guardian printing an interview with Lily Allen this week that had been conducted two weeks ago. In it she is excited and happy about the forthcoming birth of her child and how that is going to change her life.


They had, thankfully, wacked on a new introduction explaining the unfortunate happenings since the interview had taken place, but STILL. This is the Guardian for God's sake - not Heat magazine. I see absolutely no justification or explanation for them to go ahead and print this, aside from a shameless attempt to grab readers with some sensationalist, macabre sentimentality. Which is of course what the public want if the X-Factor sob stories are anything to go by. Personally, I agree with a friend of mine who is a qualified mental health professional; there is no way Lily herself is in a fit state to be deciding to give permission for this to be printed right now, regardless of what the Guardian say about calling her in hospital. The girl has got septicemia for goodness' sake. Leave well alone. On Monday, I was a little bit ashamed of what my industry has become.

Does this look like a small minority to you??

On the flip side of that coin, I was NOT ashamed of the behaviour of 50,000 students who turned out to protest against the ridiculous tuition fee rise and cuts to university funding. In fact, I was flipping proud of everyone that came to London that day. Being an employed person now, I was otherwise occupied while the protests were happening, but could literally feel the waves of anger radiating from the crowds at Whitehall, and was there in spirit.

The violence was dangerous and frightening, but in a way, I think it served an effective purpose. The students weren't breaking into the Tory HQ to physically attack any MPs, but by attacking their building, sent a powerful message to those who sit in their golden fortress, effectively wrecking our Higher Education system. I was one of those for voted Lib Dem, my naive heart thankful that one party was seemingly going to protect the rights of students. Yeah, thanks Nick.

I do keep a somewhat fiery temper under lock and key, and exorcise my anger via the medium of the written word. I do enjoy a good strong word, when used appropriately. However sometimes, just occasionally, words are simply not enough and our passions get the better of us. I know there are conflicting opinions as to whether the 'riots' were just a small minority of anarchists, but I know for a fact they were not, they were just the hottest part of the flame. I had friends who were right on the front line - normally non-confrontational, peaceful human beings, who witnessed the violence taking place and explained that the 'small minority' was in fact a crowd of thousands.

If I had been there, in my heart of hearts I know that I would have been straight over that broken glass and into the building, given half a chance. We are not a generation of moaning, whinging layabouts - a large percentage of the under 25s want to make things change and get things done. While the Government continues to leave us at the bottom of their priorities, we will continue to get angrier and angrier.



(The last voxpop in this video is my friend Jim, voicing the opinion of the masses. Boy, was I proud when I saw that. For the record, he has asked me to say that he was not throwing anything or hitting any policemen.)

Just a taste of what is to come, I think.

Image: Dominic Lipinski/PA

Summer Fashion and Christmas Mentalness. Really.

I had a lovely half an hour imagining, if I was more glitterati than Glitterbird and had an unlimited shopping budget, what I would like to be wearing come the summer months.

http://fashioneditoratlarge.blogspot.com/2010/11/fashion-juniors-top-ten-outfits-for.html

If I go on holiday next year, this is what I'm going to look like. I wish.

Obviously, it is too early those not in the fashion freak camp to be thinking about summer, when in fact, the most exciting thing on the horizon is CHRISTMAS. At last, I have somewhere to vent my excitement regarding my absolute favourite time of year. If you think you have experienced festive madness, you ain't seen nothing yet.

The Christmas jumper of dreams, as knitted by my Mum for my Dad twenty years ago, now worn by me.

Now that I seem to be living half my life on trains again (weekend trips home to Sussex, good for the heart, bad for the bank balance) I have had plenty of time to start planning every aspect of my Christmas countdown. First up, present buying list; the only problem with gaining a whole lot of lovely new friends this year is that my gift budget is going to have to expand, rapidly! I don't really care, however, because I have inherited my Dad's ridiculous attitude to excessive present buying. It comes but once a year, after all...

Next up is the Grotto. Friends and family know that come the eve of Nov 30th, I will be hauling out the box of decorations and Christmassing up my living quarters. Last year I had three trees in my living room and enough fairy lights to blow the National Grid. Who knows what it's going to look like this year.
Basically, I'm like a cat with tinsel. MENTAL.

So yeah, apart from more and more press days which is always fun, Christmas is consuming my brain at the moment. I'll try and calm down until at least the end of November, but you have been warned!

GL

Image: Catwalking.com, random cat website

'Cos Baby You're A Firework...

Ahhhhhh. It's been a while since KP featured on these pages. To be honest, I think my adoration/envy of her entire life may have supernova-ed and I needed a Katy detox for a while.

But just when my cold turkey was nearly over, she goes and takes over my life, yet again. You know I love KP for her dedication to theme; this is the girl who appeared on X-Factor dressed in a firework-enspangled unitard, holding a sparkler, with backing dancers as flame throwers all lit by a backdrop of...The Sahara. Not really. It was fireworks.

So now the video has been released, and at first glance it appears to be a mash up of Britney's Lucky and Christina's Beautiful videos. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing at all.

Then she starts sparkling fireworks from her breasts. Aw, gosh darn it Katy. Your literal interpretation of everything in your music makes me love you more and more.

And when does she release this single, which is funnily enough, entitled Firework? Oh, that's right, just before Bonfire Night. I know it's just shrewd and callous marketing by her record label, but the child in me likes to just go with the flow and allow myself to be seduced by her in all her shimmery, two tone hair, wide eyed, married to Russell Brand goodness.

I've always had a thing for fireworks. They make me feel jittery and alive.

GL

Lanvin for H&M: It's Kind of A Big Deal

Beautiful Lanvin loveliness. For cheapy cheaps.

The fashion world has gone CRAZY for the Lanvin for H&M collaboration. It launches in a few weeks and it's pretty much the only thing journo girls are talking about. In my role of fashion critic/obsessive shopper, I have written a post for Motilo advising the best plan of attack for those hoping to snag a piece of Lanvin at bargain prices.

http://magazine.motilo.com/sharpen-elbows-lanvin-hm/

To be honest, I will probably leave the catfighting to the die hard Lanvin addicts, as much as I do adore his signature cocktail dresses, I can't face camping out in the freezing November weather!

If you are going down to the biggest fashion scrum of the year, may the bargain-hunting force be with you.



GL